I remember when I was a kid. Summer lasted long and it seemed like an eternity till Christmas. I remember being told that life will be very different when I grow up so I should enjoy it while I'm a kid. Then I grew up, I became an adult, I learnt that life is not all fun and games like it used to. This exam needs to be passed, this gas bill needs to be payed, that email has to be written. In the midst of LIFE, of all the things that have to be done I often forget how to slow down and enter my little boy's world, how to stop and marvel at a beautiful lizard or build the biggest tower in the world with him. This morning I am reminded to tune into his channel every day a little bit to not miss seeing the world through his eyes as he is growing up.
TUNING INTO HIS CHANNEL
Step 1: SLOW DOWN
Kids are more concerned about how much fun they are having than how many things need to be done that day. Sometimes I work myself up so much about "not ever having this house tidy". The reality is no matter how much I work at it I will not have my house as perfectly tidy as I would like. While I finish tidying a room another one gets messed up. That is just a reality of having a kid (or more - Moms with multiple kids, all my respect is yours).
The reality is that it really does not matter whether you do those dishes now or 30 minutes later. It just doesn't.
Step 2: LAUGH AND CRY
Kids love to laugh at...well...everything!
A good laugh can relieve stress. So can crying. When Benjamin gets hurt or upset he has no problems crying. We, adults tend to "tuff it out" or suppress our feelings. I do that many times.
So for Pete's sake, laugh more!
P.S. Benjamin has the Best little laughter! :)
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| Benjamin's little leaf collection. Even the neighbor lady donated some very special leaves to him from her garden |
Benjamin has many toys, but you know what he ends up playing with most of the time? Yes, with boxes and lids and rubber bands. We might take him to the mall to ride the go-carts but he would always rather have me playing with him. They don't need the expensive stuff, they just need 2 minutes of our "precious" time. Play what he wants to play. Watch what he wants to watch. Love what he loves.
Kids are really amazing and quick to forgive. They don't hold on to grudges, they don't hang on to stuff like grownups do. I can yell and holler and get after my little 6-year-old then I turn around to see him hugging my leg, having that sweet expression on his face, head tilted, looking up at me smiling and saying I love you mama. True story. He is my true example of forgiveness.
Love means self-sacrifice sometimes. Love him with your time. Give him your time. Hard thing. These days (year) we are constantly wrapped up in work, which is for us is learning Italian. And because this work takes place at home, the work hours are very blurry. We don't even have a 9-5 schedule or whatever, it is our life daily. 24/7. We meet people, practice, go to the store, practice, we study at home...it is kind of like a non-stop activity. That is why I always feel like I need to Work. Poor little Benjamin has not even a chance many times. "Play with me! Play with me!" is his thing to say and I am sure he is tired of hearing "Not now, Nyuszi, I'm working".
My little 6-y-o asks me every night, "Mama, what kind of fun thing are we gonna do tomorrow?" Sometimes this annoys me, why can't My life also be all fun? Then I realize that for him, whatever he does he enjoys it. If I don't find fun and joy in my daily duties and activities it's my own fault. Doing dishes can be fun if I watch an episode of Murder, she wrote meanwhile. Cooking can be fun if I nibble on some cool appetizer while I cook. Vacuuming can be fun if...well...no. Vacuuming is just vacuuming, get done with it quick and move on.
It's okay to be goofy sometimes, make farting noises with your mouth or wear an underwear on your head. At least that is Benjamin's idea of being "cool" these days. For me it might just take a few minutes, then I move on with my list of things to do, but for him it is a memory that will stay with him. "Mom and I were sooo goofy" :)
Not only this helps your child learn to like and do creative things, it is also a way to express himself and make things. Later, when he is older he will appreciate this skill. Almost every day Benjamin and I go on Pinterest to browse for ideas of what to make that day. It is usually a toy or some other fun thing. I have a separate category called "Kids stuff" on my Pinterest board that is dedicated solely on collecting ideas for this specific purpose. We have made boats out of milk cartons, two story parking garage out of a cardboard box, binoculars out of toilet paper rolls etc etc etc the list goes on.
He loves to "get" a new toy every day, and how much more fun it is to make something cool together with mama! :)
Love you little man...
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